Lessons in freedom, or “How to become entirely free.”
Years ago, I introduced two dear friends of mine to one another. They quickly started dating. After a couple months, one decided that the other was too non-committal, and in her exact words, “just didn’t care enough.” She broke up with him, and telephoned me shortly after to explain.
We argued about whether her assessment had been accurate, and she challenged me.
“Call him up right now. Ask him how he feels.”
I rang the number sheepishly, hoping he wasn’t too broken about it. I’d been there before, and understood, with some certainty, the weight of magic and loss. I was careful not to obscure or mis-judge the suffering by which I assumed he was encompassed.
“I heard about the breakup, I just wanted to call and see how you were feeling?”
“How do I feel?? I just swallowed a pill the size of a spaceship. I feel like a goddamn butterfly!”
